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Category Archives: Drama and Counseling

A Family Where You Are Loved and Belong

11 Wednesday Dec 2013

Posted by rachelhofer in Bullying, Divorce, Domestic Violence, Drama and Counseling, Family, Family Therapy, Forgiveness, Stigma

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Family is so important. Almost all of us have a family and if we do not then it is sorely missed. We feel compelled to find some sense of family somewhere. I believe it is fundamental to human psychology. We need our mom and a dad and siblings in whatever fashion they come. Some of us are adopted and some of us find them in the neighborhood, if not just for a season.

When we got dropped off at kindergarten the first day and mom or dad waved goodbye we had to find a new mom or dad. On the bus the first year of kindergarten me and my new best friend both had an adopted 5th grade ‘mom’ on the bus that looked out for us. This is normal and healthy because we need to be socialized. We also bond with new people, and move out to make our own ‘family.’ None of us are around forever and no-one is always present.

When people in our family are absent or not there due to illness, abandonment, drug use, separation and divorce, or death it wounds and sometimes even cripples us. Sometimes the wound is so deep and painful that one has to go through a grieving process as though a family or family member died. Only then can we accept the love that was always there even in the midst of what was painfully missing. We need to feel we belong somewhere. That is why social stigma is so wounding. That is why bullying is so wounding, cliques, and gossip. When we do not fit in anywhere we can feel like aliens and strangers, very alone.

In one of my favorite movies this idea is explored: The Muppets from Space. Gonzo has an identity crisis and feels he does not know where he belongs or is from. At the end of the movie, the best moment in the film, his family is revealed and celebrates HIM and THEM together! He shouts, “That’s MY FAMILY!!!!”

So many times, I believe, God (or fate if you will) puts families together. There is no program for this but when it happens it is nothing short of magical! Some families come together through formal adoption, others feel the magic and know it is a special brotherhood, sisterhood, or parental bond that has happened. The wounds that were inflicted can be healed in relationships.

I love my family and they have been very good to me. Every family has wounds.This has happened in my life. See below this video just some of the very special people in my life who have become family. 😉

kermit family

Picture 53

Rachel Hofer
http://www.lovingtherapy.com

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Psychodrama Laboratory: A Dreamery Production

15 Friday Feb 2013

Posted by rachelhofer in Anxiety, Drama and Counseling, Narrative, Play Therapy

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Register HERE

Last week Dr. Jim Porter and I had our first “Psychodrama Laboratory” at the Loga Springs Human Enrichment Center. These will be held on the first monday of every month (Mondays Meditations on the other three). The Psychodrama Laboratory will use human volunteers to explore acting and drama exercises applied to our deepest fears, worries, and anxieties. Last week I discovered that though acting can sometimes be intimidating this is a different kind of acting and requires much more vulnerability. The scenes can be enjoyable to watch, but the purpose is more therapeutic.

If a comedian or actor acts out a scene I am sure they could make it extremely funny or entertaining. We definitely had some laughs and tender moments. However, at times the real honesty we are looking for in psychodrama requires some acting that is not performance and more exploratory work for the benefit of the participants. The audience and other actors are there to support another human in working out the conflict and learning from each other more than to be entertained. Some of the exercises can be much more entertaining also such as the rational-emotive anxiety scene with props. This reminded me of a Who’s Line Is It Anyway game.

I explored some of the concepts of narrative therapy, play therapy, and cinematherapy last week and we will continue with watching and discussing some scenes of movies for cinematherapy in the weeks to come. We will also have some exercises and activities that draw from narrative and play therapy. Brainstorming for the Loga Springs Human Enrichment Center Psychodrama Lab with Dr. Porter we ran through every Disney movie, Woody Allen, and Mel Brooks thinking of characters with anxiety!


Every time I am a little late I just think of that rabbit from Alice in Wonderland.

Rachel Hofer

http://www.lovingtherapy.com

Recovery- ‘Flight’ – monologue at the Hippodrome

21 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by rachelhofer in Depression, Drama and Counseling, Recovery

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Tags

Depression, Drama, Monologue, Recovery, Therapy

Monologue written by Holly Hofer. Performed by Katie Delvaux at the Hippodrome State Theatre.

Rachel Hofer

http://www.lovingtherapy.com

Conscience and Unconscious

19 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by rachelhofer in Conscience, Drama and Counseling, moral development

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‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’

Some form of this basic moral teaching, the Golden Rule, is found in all major religions.

We even find this in philosophy. “One should never do wrong in return, nor mistreat any man, no matter how one has been mistreated by him.”
—Plato’s Socrates (Crito, 49c) (c. 469 BC–399 BCE)

But how do people develop a conscience? Do some people not have one or do they go against it? How can we teach and develop conscience in children and adults? How do we even know and agree on what is right?

Jung and Freud both referred to a collective unconscious which had no explanation in the immediate experience of individuals and is common to all people. Forms in the collective unconscious and our conscience are not individual but ‘collective,’ and each individual is contingent on other beings in society. Freud’s theory supported the idea that conscience is developed by the internalization of authority figures that develop a ‘super-ego’ which creates guilt and shame when an individual does not meet the ‘ego’s’ ideals of how to meet desires and needs appropriately. How this super-ego does develop or should develop is another question.

Lawrence Kohlberg laid out a theory of the stages of moral development which align with Jean Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. His six stages of development begin with the ‘pre-conventional’ stage in which children (or adults’) behavior is motivated by either seeking pleasure or avoiding pain. People can then progress to a level where they seek the approval or sanction of society in following laws and/or rules to the highest level where they are guided by concrete and abstract absolute universal principals apart from any society’s sanction.

One can infer from Kohlberg and Piaget’s theories that using behavioral techniques to teach children universal principles of right and wrong could be beneficial as they progress through the early stages of moral development into adulthood and maturity. When using applied behavioral analysis one must always remember that the actual relationship, a smile, approval, quality time, and love become the greatest reward even for children. Cookies and approval only go so far and soon individuals may move into a more mature understanding of morality and principles that are rewarding in and of themselves. This becomes an interesting conversation when discussing the collective unconscious also as a ‘higher power’ or God as the attachment and approval in relationship with a personal God or being becomes a reward and motivation also. Love can be a great motivation.

‘Always let your conscience be your guide.’

Rachel Hofer

http://www.lovingtherapy.com

Be Angry but Assertive

10 Tuesday Apr 2012

Posted by rachelhofer in Drama and Counseling

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Cinderella expresses anger at the clock tower telling her what to do just like her step-sisters and step-mother. Anna Freud might call this a defense mechanism, ‘displacement’, and it definitely serves its purpose in handling anger if used appropriately! Sigmund Freud referred to ‘sublimation’, a spiritual redirection or displacement that “serves a higher cultural or socially useful purpose, as in the creation of art or inventions.”

In response to the step-sister’s mocking her she stands up for her rights. “Well, Why not? After all I’m still a member of the family. And it says by Royal command every eligible maiden is to attend.”

Without the communication skills, assertive behavior, a lot of patience and humility, we can only imagine how Cinderella would respond to such abuse. It actually might make for an entertaining comedy or tradgedy in another version of “Cinderella II.”

Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself, your rights, and maintain dignity without violating the rights or dignity of others.

“The vices that make good theater are intolerable in life, and the banality of goodness on stage is no argument against the virtues.” Simone Weil

For more info from Rachel Hofer check www.lovingtherapy.com

That Which Passes Show

10 Tuesday Jan 2012

Posted by rachelhofer in Drama and Counseling

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Tags

Death, Existential Therapy, Jail, Literature, Psychology, Shakespeare, Suicide

Story and narrative are powerful tools for understanding and coping with life, for finding hope and meaning that fuel our soul. Great literature does this for us and can be a kind of existential therapy, exploring the meaning of life events and dealing with themes such as life and death.

Listen to how this team helped prisoners in the Missouri jail system through a theater program where the inmates stage Hamlet. On this episode of This American Life.

Shakespeare gave me a flower too. I walked across the park to the theater in the moonlight and saw it growing there, about to shed its seeds. I picked it and looked up right into his eyes. Ironically, he was on the theater’s wall just far enough away to give the illusion that his image was life sized, a few feet away, looking back at me.

I love that the Orlando Shakespeare Theater is not-for-profit. They have donated over 50 tickets now for a domestic violence shelter, a ministry to underpriviledged kids, migrant children, and a residential facility for teens with substance use problems. These were all places I worked and shared the love of Shakespeare. The script, story, and show were perfect for sharing and discussing with the teens at The Grove Academy. We didn’t even have standing seats!; Hamlet was meant for us!

“Queen:

Thou know’st ’tis common: all that lives must die,

Passing through nature to eternity.

Hamlet:

Ay, madam, it is common.

Queen:

If it be,

Why seems it so particular with thee?

Hamlet:

Seems, madam? nay, it is, I know not “seems.”

‘Tis not alone my inky cloak, good mother,

Nor customary suits of solemn black,

Nor windy suspiration of forc’d breath,

No, nor the fruitful river in the eye,

Nor the dejected havior of the visage,

Together with all forms, moods, shapes of grief,

That can denote me truly. These indeed seem,

For they are actions that a man might play;

But I have that within which passes show,

These but the trappings and the suits of woe.”

Hamlet Act 1, scene 2, 72–86 So his inward thoughts are different than his outward “show”? His inner thoughts “surpass” the outward show? There’s the rub. William Shakespeare – To be, or not to be (from Hamlet 3/1)

“To be, or not to be: that is the question:

Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;

No more; and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must give us pause: there’s the respect

That makes calamity of so long life;

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,

The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,

The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,

The insolence of office and the spurns

That patient merit of the unworthy takes,

When he himself might his quietus make

With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,

To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

But that the dread of something after death,

The undiscover’d country from whose bourn

No traveller returns, puzzles the will

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;

And thus the native hue of resolution

Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,

And enterprises of great pith and moment

With this regard their currents turn awry,

And lose the name of action. – Soft you now!

The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons

Be all my sins remember’d.”

I want to be this man’s friend. He says to all his friends who read his shows:

In modern English:

Good friend, for Jesus’ sake, forbear*,

To dig the dust encloséd here.

Blessed be the man that spares these stones,

And cursed be he that moves my bones.

Hamlet is just another man’s show;a small seed, a small element of something eternal, bound up in the heart of Shakespeare and all men passed.

 

For more info from Rachel Hofer check www.lovingtherapy.com

850-888-2182

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In Loving Memory Dr. Cheryl Laird

Rachel Hofer's first supervisor.

Rachel Cannon Ghulamani, M.S., LMHC

Dr. Jim Porter

Winning Harmony

Bullying Expert

Wilfredo Melendez, MS , RMHCI

Addiction, Family, and Anxiety Counseling

Linda Callahan

Licenced Marriage and Family Therapist

Gainesville Integrative Psychotherapy

Gainesville Integrative Psychotherapy

Half the knowledge is knowing where to find the knowledge.

Rachel Hofer, MS, LMHC

1137 Harrison Ave. #11
Panama City, FL 32401
850-888-2182

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